So, I have a personal space bubble around me. I don’t do well with physical interaction, unless I know you very, very, very well (read: love you dearly).
I, for one, do not understand how you meet someone and then, after coffee or dinner, immediately move on the hug and kiss on the cheek. In my world that’s just wrong. Each to his own though, and if you are one of the touchy-feely people who populate planet Earth, I have one thing to say to you: Well done. I have friends that I have known for the past 20 years, yet I do not feel the desire to embrace them every time I see them. For Pete’s sake, an outstretched hand and brilliant smile does the same job!
Let me tell you why I am just slightly freaked out at the moment.
Monday after work I was minding my own business in Checkers, deciding what to get for dinner. I turned around and came face to face with a random woman who suddenly jerked back. To give you an idea, after she jerked away she was still close enough for me to smell her breath! “Your hair smells lovely” she declared. Well! I was so shocked I promptly gave her “the look” (something I didn’t know I possess, but my mom can tell you all about that) and stormed off, leaving my shopping right there! WOOSA!!! What the heck woman, what you smellin my hair for?!?!
Yesterday morning it was tight squeeze in the taxi. A big burly guy sat down next to me (think: Michael Clarke Duncan from The Green Mile), seriously I was dwarfed by this guy. About 5 minutes after we took off, I felt his shoulder leaning into me. I politely shifted my weight and tried to make my body conform to the little space left between me and the window.
Another 5 minutes pass and this guy every so gently rests his head against mine. WOOSA!!! With every bit of control and composure I slowly turn my head and got ready to tell him to move his… He had fallen asleep and decided to use me as a pillow! Seriously!?!? Luke won’t even do that, because he says I’m “not fluffy enough”. By now, a lot of people, including the driver, were giggling about this scenario. To rescue me Michael suddenly stepped on the brakes. This guy wakes up and immediately starts shouting at the driver about him having missed his stop, because Michael supposedly took a different route. By the time he got out we were all in hysterics! Save to say, he won’t be driving with Michael for a while.
Tea-time today my colleague and I are standing outside, enjoying our coffee and the last bit of Autumn sun when some guy walks past and looks at me. I figure OK, let it be. Next moment he stops dead in his tracks, turn around and look at me again. Have I mentioned that I have a bubble? He stops and again turn around to look at me. By now I am ready to ask him just exactly what he is looking at. He walks up to me and says “Aren’t you that girl from Generations?”. Generations?! C’mon, I’ve never even seen an episode so I wouldn’t even knew if I resembles someone in the show! WOOSA!!! Stop staring dude, it’s rude!
I would hereby kindly like to implore the universe to give me a break. Please.
My sunny disposition is fast starting to turn into a Highveld thunderstorm and the next innocent being to even think about coming near my bubble might just get it. They will be left seriously dazed and confused at the wrath to be bestowed them.
So please, cut me some slack, just for a little while.