In 2011 I made peace with the fact that I am growing old(er). The stretchmarks are a reminder of the precious 9 months I had Luke inside of me, before I had to let him go to be his own person (I’m a tiger who earner her stripes!). The small beginnings of wrinkles are reminders of laughing in good times and (too much) frowning, trying to understand the world. I stopped fighting the grey hair (of which I had my first around 16!) and am just leaving it to blend with the rest. The grey’s are an intrinsic part of who I am, after all. Gone are the days of heavy make-up before I dare to step foot outside the door. If and when I feel like jazzing up my look, a touch of lipstick and some mascara does the trick.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not neglecting myself in any way whatsoever. I am, in fact, taking better care of my body than I have in years. For the first time in years I watch what I eat and I exercise. Bottom line is this: I have made peace with who and what I am. I no longer need to enhance my features to feel comfortable in my skin. I no longer need to have my hair in the latest style or change my wardrobe every now and then just to fit in with what’s “fashionable”. I am me, take it or leave it. I am comfortable in my own skin and don’t need to prove anything to anyone. This is me, I am who I am.
Although I fully understand cosmetic surgery for medical reasons, I am amazed at the lengths women will go to to simply look good.
I came across an article this morning that left me speechless. It would appear that botox, face lifts, eye- or nose jobs are no longer enough. A new procedure have been invented, which is especially popular in South Korea. In a predominantly male business environment, it is said that a woman requires both beauty and brains in order to be successful. Unfortunately more beauty is required and thus the choice to have the surgery, which leaves you with a smaller, V-shaped jawline. The recovery process is a lengthy and painful one. I don’t know if they are simply unaware of the complications beforehand or simply choose to ignore them. Herewith a few:
- Facial numbness or paralysis – you can’t feel the spit dribbling out of your mouth.
- Inability to chew or smile
- Nerve damage to the tear duct – you can’t stop crying.
Already a 23-year old student have committed suicide because she could not cope with the recovery process. More and more complaints are surfacing, but are being wiped under the carpet as a “negligible problem” due to the increased number of surgeries being performed.
I have two theories as to why women would do something as stupid as this:
- Personal insecurities – somewhere along the line someone told them that they are not good enough, pretty enough, tall enough. Ladies, I’ve been there, I know what you feel. You are perfect just the way you were created. Don’t ever let anyone determine your own self worth. Getting rid of these insecurities starts with loving yourself. The profound moment for me was when I watched “What the Bleep”. Near the end of the movie there is a scene where she lies in he bath, writing “I love you” all over her body with a marker. That scene is one which will always remain with me. You have to love yourself first.
- To fit in or to be loved – here is a wake-up call. If you are not part of the “in-crowd” or if someone does not notice you or love you because of who you are, they never will. It does not matter how much you change yourself. You will always be a reflection of their insecurities, you will never be good enough. Believe me, if a man only loves me I am in my high heels, skinny jeans, hairdo, make-up and jewelry he is not man enough for me. I am human. When I wake up my hair is a (huge) mess and I have morning breath. Sometimes I just want to wear a tracksuit, that does not change who I am. If he can’t love you at your worst, he does not really love you at your best.
If you don’t like who you are, look inside and make the change there. You will be surprised to see the difference it will make to the way you see yourself.
Love yourself or end up like this (courtesy of www.styleslum.com)
Herewith my questions to you:
- What drastic step, if any, have you done or considered to change something about yourself?
- How would that change your life?
- Why would you want to change something about yourself?