On being hugged by a black guy

South Africa, the country of my birth. The only country, in fact, I have ever known. I have always been proudly South African; I love this place, truly, deeply and passionately. Sure it has it’s problems, but then again, as does all countries, hey?

Our land is filled with a multitude of races, religions, cultures and languages. We don’t have only “Africans” and “Caucasians”. We have Blacks, Whites and Colored natives. We also have Indians, Asians, and many more – we embrace them all. It is the multitude of languages (we have 11 National Languages), however that reduced me to tears this afternoon. Language and shame left me standing there at the side of the road next to a taxi with a young black chap embracing me.

Let me start at the beginning.

When I got to the taxi rank this afternoon, this young black guy, about 25 years old, was obviously upset and very animated in the way he expressed himself. This young man was the guard of one of the taxis. In case you don’t know, the taxis operate with a driver and a guard. The guard’s job is to collect fares and direct the driver to where he needs to stop. None of the taxis were prepared to drive out to the Bay for 4 passengers, as it already was too late. What upset him was the fact that they (the driver and him) were prepared to go, but they had to wait their turn. I was listening to him venting his frustration, in Afrikaans, at the rank master. After about 10 minutes of this (in which time 4 taxis had been loaded and left) the rank master caved and allowed them to jump the queue.

We loaded the taxi with a mix of passengers for different areas, the Bay being the last stop. En route I continually caught myself listening to the way he spoke Afrikaans. His pronunciation of words and grammar was exquisite, to say the least. He had this beautiful way to make the words roll of this tongue. I decided to compliment him on it when I got off. As the ride continued, he kept talking, and it got me thinking about the many languages of our country. I felt ashamed. How “proudly South African” am I if I can’t speak any of the other languages, other than my mother tongue (Afrikaans) or English? I have never attempted even to learn and traditionally African language. Does that not make me a hypocrite then?

My stop was the last on their route. I got out and this is how the conversation went (only it was in Afrikaans):

Me: Excuse me, I know you are in a hurry, but there is something I want to say to you.
Young Guard: Yes Ma’am?
M: I have always said that I am a proud South African, but today you made me hang my head in shame.
Confusion and shock washed over his face. I started to speak and could feel the emotion well up in my throat (I am very connected to emotion and it does not take much to drive me to tears)
YG: I don’t understand Ma’am
M: You speak Afrikaans with such love, so clearly, yet it is not your mother tongue. (At this point the tears started rolling). I claim to be proudly South African, yet I have never even tried to learn your language.

That is how language reduced me to tears, it left me standing at the side of the road next to a taxi. The next moment this you guy embraced me, softly patting me on the back. His parting words to me:

“Don’t worry Ma’am. I appreciate your kind words. We have a long way to go in this country yet. You will learn my language, of that I have no doubt. The fact that you can not speak my mother’s tongue does not make you any less my sister.”

South Africa, motherland, I love you and all God’s people.

Goodnight everyone.

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Author: nanuschka

I am a free spirit born in the Free State, 20 years to late. I am Ying and Yang. I am the girl next door who prefers daisies and peace rallies, but can just as easily rock at a rally. I love all things Latin and am sure that in my previous life (if that existed) I was Spanish. The dark side of me, however, tells me that I lived in Mother Russia. On a quest to find my happy-ever-after, I am in constant search of answers to all things that makes us human. What we do and, more importantly, why we do it. I hope you enjoy my rambles and would love to hear from you!

23 thoughts on “On being hugged by a black guy”

    1. It was a very emotional experience for me, realizing that I live in this country and claim to be proudly South African, yet I can not communicate with my fellow citizens

  1. People forget that we live in a multilingual country…and furthermore a multilingual world. The majority of South Africans are fluent in at least 3 languages and switch back and forth between languages unconsciously. That is the reality. The fact that you have actively decided to learn Xhosa is a good thing and a step in the right direction. 🙂 We need to do more than just admire our diversity from a distance. We must also live it. All the best in your journey with learning Xhosa. (And I’m available if you need any help.)

    1. Molo. Ndiyabulela! I’ve managed to find a printable course online and have been practicing all weekend. Can’t wait to see Michael’s (the taxi driver I go with in the mornings) reaction tomorrow! Now, it’s just the pronunciation that I’m worried about. I guess, however that I won’t be laughed at for less than perfect pronunciation at the beginning. Your offer for help might just have me knocking on your email door somewhere in the near future. Hamba kakuhle!

      1. Heehee. So far so good. The pronunciation will come with time. Just try to surround yourself with as many Xhosa speakers as you can…or try to hear as much Xhosa as you can, whether it be on TV or on the radio or…:)

        1. So far I have Michael (the taxi driver), the security guard at work and my cigarette vendor in on the action. They are loving as much as I am. Last night I tried to follow the Xhosa news on TV, but all I got out of that one was Kuyabanda Kusasa! I’ll get there one word at a time! Having loads of fun (even have my 10 year old in on it)

  2. What an awesome post. You were so right to tell him and not just keep it to yourself. I’m sure it made his day too. It’s on my ’30 before 30′ list to speak Afrikaans to Afrikaans speaking people but I just can’t bring myself to do it. It’s such a beautiful language when spoken properly. But I am too self conscious that I sound ‘plat’ and speak ‘kombuis Afrikaans’. I guess I should get over it and just do it 🙂

    1. Thank you! Don’t worry, I have the same fears about speaking Xhosa and some days are more difficult than others. The sheer joy I see on their faces when I greet them in their own language is a huge inspiration though and every day gets easier. Have you read the follow up post I made Chippa cry? If not, you should! It covers the next meeting we had.

  3. Reblogged this on Right Down My Alley and commented:
    I love languages and I am proudly South African. A good combinations since S has 11 official languages. I loved this post by nanuschka, it shows that even in the humdrum of our busy lives it doesn’t hurt to stop and give someone a compliment.

  4. This was beautiful and a true testament that different races can live together without all this animosity and racism that I see on social networks, and the news page. Had to reblog!

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