How easy it is to tell someone to let go of the past and move on! The act itself is something completely different from those eight words, I know. I had a phone call from an old friend today and we spoke about exactly that.
Moving on, or rather moving forward, with your life entails two very important processes, which are intrinsically linked: Letting go and doing what is right for you. What does this mean? The words to follow may seem harsh, but do yourself the favor and take it in, digest it, mull over it – it will make sense sooner or later.
Us humans are strange creatures who tend to hold on to every memory we ever had, the good and the bad. We can use those memories and the emotions that went with it to work for us or against us. Letting go means that you teach yourself to make those emotions work for you. Use the good ones to uplift your spirit as opposed to it making you sad when you think about what is no more. Remember the good times and how they made you feel. Focus your energy on that feeling and use that feeling to catapult you into a new direction. Use the bad ones to be a driving force to find better / do it better next time around as opposed to turning it into fuel for anger and resentment. If you keep focusing on the negativity of how you felt at the time, you continually poison your soul.
Letting go means that you make peace. Not only with the person or the situation, but also with yourself. Accept what happened. Accept where you went wrong. Accept where they went wrong. Accept what happened. Acceptance is one of the most powerful tools available to us. With acceptance comes peace. I’m not saying forget. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel the hurt. Allow yourself the luxury of grief, but don’t grief forever. Unless you go for hypnosis or suffer severe amnesia, you will never forget. Accept it and forgive the person / situation that offended you. If you are mad at your mother for not hugging you enough as a child, you carry that anger with you and it poisons future relationships. If you are mistrustful of people because someone cheated on you, the poison that you carry with you will ultimately destroy your next relationship, and the next until you decide to let it go. You control your destiny! Only you have the power to decide what influences your life. You choose which forces you want to allow to interfere with your future.
Do what is right for you!
Believe it or not, but this is perhaps the most difficult thing to do. We get so caught up in the expectations that others have for us – spouses, bosses, family – that we don’t really know what we want. We think we do, but in the end it just turns out to be more of what someone else wants for you. If you are stuck in a relationship that is not feeding your soul, uplifting your spirit, you would feel that you need to get out. The other person might not necessary see it that way and walking out would leave them with a lot of questions. The journey to find out what you really want is a scary one. It will leave you to question your believes about yourself, about society, about life. Take it from someone who has been down that road, it is worth it in the end. Be still and know. Once you tune out the noise and listen to what your soul is trying to tell you, you will know what is right for you.
One last quote before I go: