AB-Normal

Is being “normal” — whatever that means to you — a good thing, or a bad thing? Neither?

What is normal? Is it the fairy tale white picket fence with all the trimmings? The sad reality is that normal hardly ever pans out the way we pictured it. My perception of normal might differ drastically from yours. Heck, my perception of normal might differ from year to year. Normal is very much based on past experiences and where we want to go.

Education
Normal is going to school and getting good grades. Kids, more often than not, despise a schooling system designed to teach them not to question, not to think for themselves. Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir. I don’t want normal for my kiddo. The normal that I strive for is one where we can travel, learn about earth, it’s inhabitants and life – home schooling, that should be normal.

Careers
Most of us – me included – are stuck in a job (just over broke) we don’t really like. Why? Fresh out of school we are forced to get a job, to make ends meet. The result? Somewhere between 30 and 40 we realize that this is not what we had in mind for our lives. We have frustrated and depressed adults who commit suicide, family murders, adultery, divorcées, alcoholics and drug addicts. Everything just to get a sense of excitement, to get free from the clutches of normality. Kids should be given the opportunity to spend at least two years after school discovering themselves and what they want. True, these things will change as they grow older, but at least they will have a bit of a head start in the sense that they will be able to develop their passion from an early age.

Relationships
With the divorce rate what it is, normal unfortunately is to grow up in a broken household. Thirty years ago it was almost unheard of for people to get divorced. Today it is the norm and when we hear of people who have been married for 25, 30, 40 years, we gasp and ask: what is the secret. That should be the norm! There should be a law banning anyone from getting married or having kids before the age of thirty. At least by then they will have overcome insecurities and really know what type of person they want to spend their life with. Granted there are some high school sweethearts who marry and 30 years later they are still madly in love. Sadly though, they are the minority.

Emotional intelligence and the ability to express it
Now here is one that I have the biggest problem with. Cowboys don’t cry! Know that saying? Well it’s utter nonsense! Please, I beg you, if you have a son, don’t tell him not to cry! From an early age kids are forced into a stereo type of behaviors and actions, forcing them to hide what they are feeling because they have to live up to a certain standard set forth by their sexuality. So what if a girl likes to ride bikes, shoot arrows, play in the dirt or kick around a ball! So what if a boy loves teddy bears or become emotional over a sad movie! Seriously!!! If boys were not supposed to cry or experience emotions, God would have created them without tear ducts or a frontal lobe in charge of emotion! Let the boy cry for Pete’s sake. What’s the worst that can happen? OK, he might grow up to be a sensitive human being, able to understand and communicate emotion in a healthy way. O no (gasp) anything but that! What would become of the world!?

If normal means going to school, getting a qualification, getting a job, getting married and living happily ever after, I want no part of it. I’ve had it and it did not turn out to be as magical is it is made out to be.

My normal is a work in progress. I will let you know how it pans out.

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Author: nanuschka

I am a free spirit born in the Free State, 20 years to late. I am Ying and Yang. I am the girl next door who prefers daisies and peace rallies, but can just as easily rock at a rally. I love all things Latin and am sure that in my previous life (if that existed) I was Spanish. The dark side of me, however, tells me that I lived in Mother Russia. On a quest to find my happy-ever-after, I am in constant search of answers to all things that makes us human. What we do and, more importantly, why we do it. I hope you enjoy my rambles and would love to hear from you!

9 thoughts on “AB-Normal”

    1. True, “normal” in the sense it is seen today is something designed to kill our spirit. Instead, normal should be finding what you want and going for it 100%

  1. Love your last point – if in company I prefer to watch a sad film in the cinema because at least it’s dark in there and I don’t have to pretend that “no, I’m not crying, a piece of grit got in my eye (again)” 🙂

    1. Take it from a woman. There is nothing better than a man who knows how to convey his feelings and emotions. The stigma attached to it is completely unfounded. Good for you for allowing the tears (albeit in the dark)! I once heard a quote: Crying is to the soul what rain is to nature: an important part of cleansing and growth.

  2. I can totally relate to this post. Hehehe…when I moved down to CT for that year, my brother still joked that I was going to be the best educated beach bum around. In my family I am well known for doing things in the “wrong” order. First got married, then divorced, then started studying, then took a gap year and then crowned it by becoming a mom. My family NEVER know what to expect from me next – but they sure pay attention whenever I say, “Oh good, you’re all together. I need to tell you guys something.” 😉

    1. That last sentence sums it up so well! You are definitely not the “going with the flow kind of girl” and I say well done! At least you always stick to what feels right in your gut!

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