The one that didn’t get away

who you are

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The sudden “thud” jerks me back to reality, the book in my lap instantly forgotten.  It is promptly followed by a very unhappy 11-year old, pre-teen, grumble.  I look up to see a pillow in the doorway.

Just starting to get used to the mood swings that goes with being a boy of 11 and a half, I cautiously stick my head around the corner.  “Did I just hear a pillow fly?”, I ask, ever so innocently.   My question is answered by a cloudy, obviously sulking face, the brows tightly knit together in a frown, the likes of which I have never seen before.  “Yes, so she dumped me OK, so what?”

So the process of telling him about meeting the right girl when he is older starts; I tell him about how he has plenty of time to meet “the one”.  It doesn’t take long for him to see my point and all is well in the world of Luke again.

This got me thinking though.  Thinking about what we chase and why we chase it.  As we humans do, my thoughts automatically turn to events of the recent past – some very personal and others not personal at all.

The common denominator in all of these situations is a search for something more, something bigger, more meaningful.

Why does a young woman give herself over to an abusive relationship?  Why does she allow her standards to be lowered, her guard to be let down and her feelings hurt, when she knows that she is trying to keep a sinking boat afloat?

Why does someone, who is otherwise rather intelligent, allow himself / herself to be drawn into the world of drugs and alcohol?  Surely, to reach that fleeting moment of Nirvana weighed up against the feelings of guilt, lies and torment that follows doesn’t match.  Why then do it?

It has been said so many times, I’m sure you all know this one:

We are spirit beings having a natural experience.  However, we act like natural beings seeking a spiritual experience.

Deep down we know that our spirit yearns for more.  Our spirit desperately pleads with us to be re-connected to the source from where it came.

When God breathed life into Adam, He breathed into him spirit.

You were created in much the same way!

If you look at these verses, it becomes clear that we were created with God’s spirit imprinted upon our spirit.  Unfortunately, society has a way of forgetting to tell us that as we grow up and face hardships, be they financial, spiritual, emotional or physical, and we start to look for other ways to fill the void.

We look for love in the eyes of the boy who says all the right words.  We believe in the “love” he has to offer, even though the things he does crushes your soul.  You go out of your way to make those magic moments happen, to hear him say sweet little nothings, hoping against hope that this time it is for real.

We look for acceptance from the friend who offers us a drink or something to smoke.  That drink turns into something stronger, and pretty soon we have developed a crutch.  Pretty soon we have found something that fills the void within and makes you feel worthy.

We look for ways to hide the scared little kid inside by doing something “brave” like nicking a chocolate from a convenience store.  Before you know it, you are hi-jacking cars and robbing convenience stores.

You fall pregnant and tell yourself that “this is it!”  You tell yourself that now your life will change, now you have the motivation to start over and do it right.  Then something happens and the loneliness creeps up on you again.  You turn to your drug of choice for one last high, one last moment of Nirvana.

Fleeting moments, but the emptiness inside always finds a way to peek it’s ugly little head out again and you are left feeling more empty than ever before.

You go home at the end of the day to a wasted “lover”.  He sits on the couch, trying to come up with the right words to not only cover his tracks, but to also make you believe something good about him.

Before long, it all turns to dust and you look at each other with nothing but contempt.  All that is left is the hurt and the longing for something real.

Nowadays, when I see people like this, it breaks my heart.  To be honest, I sometimes want to shake them.  I want to make them wake up.  I want to make them see that the answer is staring them in the face.  The sad truth is that you can not make anyone see the truth, they do not want to see.  You can not make them hear what they do not want to hear.  It’s all about choices, and try as you might, you can not make someone choose life.  For some, death (physical, spiritual, emotional, financial) is the only choice they know.  Only by the Grace of God can they be turned around.   This is the point where you have to choose whether you want to put up with it, or hand it over to God.

Your God, your Creator is sitting there with open arms at your kitchen table.  He is patiently waiting for you to turn to Him.  The Bible tells us that God will never leave us, nor forsake us.  He is waiting to show you a life of joy and pleasure.

God has plans (please note the plural!) for your life.

In my walk with God in the past 6 months, I have come to discover the joy and peace He has to offer.  I have come to realize that I do not need to accepted or loved by any person.  His love for me is complete.  For many years I have searched for “the one” to complete me and have been left wanting time upon time.  The day I chose to put God first and to seek His love first, I came to know the true meaning of love.  I’ve come to realize what it means to truly love and be loved, to be accepted.

1 John 4 is one of my personal favorites.  Verse 12 brings it all together:

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

His love competes us.  God is waiting for you today.  He will leave the ninety-nine to find you and bring you home.  God does not want you to be “the one that got away”.  Make Him “the one” and He will change your life in ways you can not begin to understand!

When will you choose to put your trust in the Creator of creators, the King of kings, the Alpha and Omega, the great I AM as opposed to fallible humans caught up in the world?

What do you have to lose?  I know what you will gain!

When will you answer His call?

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Author: nanuschka

I am a free spirit born in the Free State, 20 years to late. I am Ying and Yang. I am the girl next door who prefers daisies and peace rallies, but can just as easily rock at a rally. I love all things Latin and am sure that in my previous life (if that existed) I was Spanish. The dark side of me, however, tells me that I lived in Mother Russia. On a quest to find my happy-ever-after, I am in constant search of answers to all things that makes us human. What we do and, more importantly, why we do it. I hope you enjoy my rambles and would love to hear from you!

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