I’m ready…

For the past two weeks I have been trying to write this, my New Year’s post.  It’s been so difficult – for no apparent reason.

It’s not that I don’t know what I want.  I know what I want for this year and what my goals are.  I’m just really struggling to put it into words, to figure out how to put it across.

Besides, I am excited about the New Year and I am even more excited to put 2015 behind me.  So, I’m getting on my dancing shoes and can quite literally not wait to dust my feet of this year.

My goals for the coming year are quite simple, difficult and daunting, but simple.  I only have two goals for 2016: get my driver’s license (long, long, long, way long overdue) and – the clincher – to run a half marathon.  I’ve got a long way to go in order to accomplish either one of these, but I am determined to do my utmost.  If I succeed, well done little lady, if I don’t there must have been a pretty good reason.  Hahaha!

New Year’s resolutions…  I don’t do those.  Why?  Simply put, because I might be gullible, but I am not a sucker for punishment.  I think that people tend to come up with (sometimes) ridiculous ideas of what they want to change or accomplish in their lives and inevitably just set themselves up for feelings of guilt and disappointment.    I am not in the frame of mind or habit (well, maybe, sometimes, occasionally) to put myself through all the questions and blame and whatever else comes with disappointment again.  This one probably says it best:

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So what do I want out of 2016? Nothing but happiness.  I just want to be happy.  I just want to find something small in every day to smile about.  One of my “things” is that I allow myself to get too consumed by other’s happiness.  I allow the needs of others to overshadow my own needs.  I tend to compromise on what I want to do or where I want to go or what makes me happy just to make others happy.

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In 2016, I just want to put myself first for a change and not allow how others make me feel to determine whether I am happy or not.  I’m such a sucker, even just writing it makes me feel like someone is about to wrap me over the knuckles and say “you selfish little brat, you”.  But it’s time.  It’s my time.  Quite frankly, I’m tired of being used and abused.  I’m tired of being manipulated and treated like my needs are not worth mentioning.  I have finally discovered my worth and I deserve to be treated like the queen I am.  Heck, I wasn’t born under the fire sign for nothing and I think 2016 is as good a time as any to let that Lioness out of captivity, to let the fire burn – fiercely, passionately, roaring with life.

To my followers, thank you for sticking around for another year.  It’s been a fun 5 years and I appreciate you sticking around to listen to my ups and downs and rambles and joy’s.  May 2016 hold nothing but love and laughter, good health and lots of wealth for you and yours.

So, Dear 2016, whatever you have coming my way, I will face with the poise of the queen that I am. 

I am ready.

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Author: nanuschka

I am a free spirit born in the Free State, 20 years to late. I am Ying and Yang. I am the girl next door who prefers daisies and peace rallies, but can just as easily rock at a rally. I love all things Latin and am sure that in my previous life (if that existed) I was Spanish. The dark side of me, however, tells me that I lived in Mother Russia. On a quest to find my happy-ever-after, I am in constant search of answers to all things that makes us human. What we do and, more importantly, why we do it. I hope you enjoy my rambles and would love to hear from you!

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