How do you say goodbye, when all you’ve ever wanted was “forever”?
How do you believe in forever, when everything you’ve done and said, your good intentions, your hopes and dreams nothing has ever been enough?
How do you say hello again when you know you’ve never been enough and it will just lead to goodbye in the end?
How do you say goodbye, when you had plans in your head: plans for a future, plans for things you wanted to do?
How do you go past a date or event in future, when all you can remember is what you wanted to do or share with someone at that place in time?
How do you say goodbye, when the feeling inside have not died, but just got eaten by a monster?
How to you tell the feelings that it is not real, it never was?
How do you pick up the broken pieces and trust and love and hope and dream again…
Is it even worth it or is it all just a myth…
I listen to love songs and watch those corny fuckin movies and I wonder to myself: why do they sell that sh!t to us? Why do they make us believe that it’s possible when it’s obviously not?
Why do they make us believe that there is someone out there who is willing and able and capable of loving you and you and just you when it doesn’t exist.
I’ll tell you why.
It’s been said that sex sells.
It’s not sex.
We all want love and acceptance. They sell us the idea that we can be desirable and loveable despite the fact that we are not. They want us to believe that, despite having brains and being able to think for yourself and not being a slut and just wanting the real deal, there is someone out there who will accept you and want to be with you. They want us to believe that all of that is real when it’s not.
Stop believing in what the media tells you. Listen to your heart. Your heart will remind you of the shattered hopes and dreams. Your heart will remind you that the only memories you will ever have are of tears shed in the dark over bottles of wine while making sense of a million questions. Your heart will remind you that all it’s there for is to get broken again and again and again and again…
You can’t ever expect anyone to ever really love you forever. The white picket fence is a myth. The guy that calls you beautiful as if it’s your name is a myth. The person who will walk through hell for you is a myth.
So get comfortably and happy with having nothing more than those memories and a knowing that the dreams will never come to pass, cause you simply are not enough. Some girls are meant to be loved and cherished. Some of us aren’t. The sooner you accept that, the better off you will be.
That’s the bottom line my dear…